"All Our Favorites"

Have you ever heard the saying that "Grandchildren are our reward for letting our children grow up?" That saying infers that raising children can be quite a challenge. Most of us mothers and fathers will heartily agree to the fact that our children have taught us a lot...often times much more than we really wanted to learn. Eventually parents graduate from good to great and then become "grand" with the help of their grown children who assume they are ready for "pay back." Did you know that diaper spelled backwards is "repaid." There is justice in that some how.

Now that our blended family of five adult married children has blossomed with thirteen grandchildren we have the wonderful opportunity to discover each grandchild's uniqueness. While raising our own two sons and daughter I remember hearing that children are like a quiver of arrows with each one bent a little differently and that it was our job, as parents, to complement the direction of each arrow and not try to make them all bend the same way.

As each of these miracles were born, my husband, Ken, and I talked about the importance of having each child understand their uniqueness to us as loving grandparents who considered each one a "favorite" in their own right.

When we ALL get together I love to put each child on my knee, snuggle with them, giggle and say "Grandma loves you best"...then do the same thing with the next one, and the next one. Our ten year old grandson, Alex, tries to duck and pretend he doesn't like hugs and that he'll get "girl germs" . He smiles the whole time and runs away laughing looking back to see if I am in hot pursuit. On occasion I will hide and pop out from behind something to try to get an unsolicited hug or kiss claiming that I am the "Kissasourous" and a force to be dealt with.

Is it possible for each grandchild to feel that they are our "favorite" at least for a moment? I chose to believe that we can. I saw a clever T-shirt in a magazine that read "Jesus loves you ...but I'm His Favorite." That made me smile but helped me put our role as grandparents in perspective. Discovering how a child likes to have love expressed becomes key. The babies love to be rocked, cooed and played patty cake with which makes them smile. The toddlers like you to play with them on their level. Reading a book to them while acting out the animals they see and making sounds like the animals make them look at you with wide eyes of wonder. Sounding like a car or train while down on your knees makes the stories come alive for the child. My husband looks at me, rolls his eyes and wonders. Is she off her medications again? Taking a walk while discussing the trees, leaves, wildlife, etc. helps older children feel special. Riding bikes together to a park or somewhere that you have a special one on one time with each child helps deepen your relationship with them by making them feel "special."

Calling the children on the telephone helps you keep in touch especially when you remind them of what you did together and how much you enjoyed their company. Being a great listener is one of our most important roles as a grandparent. We have more time to really listen as a child tries to relate what they are thinking. Our job is to validate their thoughts and answer their questions even if they ask the same questions or keep asking "why?"

We have grandchildren from three months to ten years old so most of our dealings with the children are pretty basic while having fun drawing them out to express themselves. Being silly works well at all age levels. It gives them permission to be creatively silly as you act out animal and people behavior with questions like "How does a puppy sound" or "what does a very happy boy look like?" We try to attend our oldest grandson's sport activities as often as possible and our eight year old granddaughter's dance recitals. The children know that we are there cheering them on. Grandparents make great cheerleaders! Having a date with each one when they are ready is a wonderful way to say "you're my favorite right now."

Coloring with the children, making cookies together, having them help set the table, and help you with more adult tasks like picking up twigs and raking leaves build memories. Letting God's love pour out of us takes many different shapes and styles. There is a special style of love for each and every grandchild just waiting to be expressed by a willing grandparent with time available to demonstrate God's love with skin on.

By Kathy Brown, RN, CSP, keynote speaker and author. www.kathybrown.com. 888-730-1109

"Laugh and Learn or Cry and Die?"

By Kathy Brown, RN,CSP
Printed in the MN National Speakers Association Newsletter, December 2008

How are YOU doing in this "interesting" economy? Are you doing, dreading, or dying inside because you don't know what to do on the outside? This is where your inner attitude shows up. This is where the importance of our attitude outshines our aptitude as we seek to achieve the altitude in life that we aspire to. An old adage is still relevant, "If it's meant to be, it's up to me!" Professional speaking is not a virtual career! We need to be action orientated not only in our ultimate performance but in our marketing as well as what we personify in our everyday living. Are you fun to be around? Remember to hire the happy...they are more fun to work with. So don't hide your happy my friends!

Authentic happiness comes from focusing on our strengths which may include kindness, originality, humor, optimism, and generosity according to Martin Seligman, author of Learned Optimism.

But how about when the global economy dives, uncertainty dominates, and your dog just threw up on your new rug that the cat ripped the day before? Do you still have an attitude of gratitude after you clean up the rug, check the stock market, and go over your financials? Can you laugh while you learn life lessons which include "crash" courses in how to budget and market during the tough times?

To me, this is an opportunity to take advantage of a negative to create a positive. Learn how to get creative in how you approach prospective clients for one thing. Speak confidently with a smile in your voice that is reassuring to a client that your services are not only an investment with a positive payoff in the content but in the unique way that you deliver it. Ask them what they want the audience to know, think, and feel when they leave your session and then over deliver. I love to hear my clients say that they received more than they expected! Keep raising the bar on yourself so that you don't become too comfortable with old material and the same style of delivery.

Remember that the greatest enemy of a speaker is "sameness." Don't be like everyone else who presents on the same topics that you do. Think about what you do well that makes you unique. Do you dance, sing, or do impersonations? At the NSA convention in New York this year I was in a session where we explored impersonating types of people with our body language. I volunteered as I loved to act in high school. It was really fun to revisit character acting which made me realize that I really enjoyed the playful atmosphere it created. I plan to incorporate a couple of short bits to try out with an appropriate audience to add a different type of humor when I get work.

This Holiday Season you may hear more "Oh,oh,oh's" than "Ho, ho, ho's." The stock market may make you want to hang more than your stockings but that's not only not legal ... it's not "nice." Find the Fun in the moment during the perceived stress associated with the upcoming Holidays.

The Stockings were hung by the chimney with care...
I'd worn them for months and they needed the air.

We hope for an economy that will take off like a deer.
Bookings, bookings we then hope soon will appear.

Don't be critical and cry...give thanks for what you have and come alive,
There's Much to do and celebrate before we die!

Lighten up speaker friends. That reminds me that eating for comfort weighs us down ... in the end.