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Energetically Speaking NewsletterYou can also read past newsletters here! "Do I Really Have To Talk? Can't I Just Use Technology?"
We are losing our interpersonal communication skills at an alarming pace because we don't necessarily have to talk to get things done. We can't build relationships without having meaningful conversations that go deeper. Transparency about how you feel causes others to be more open to share insights they have learned by their experiences. Experience is the intelligent use of mistakes. To be willing to share your mistakes can be just the right ingredient for a more meaningful relationship with the bonus of building trust. The less you talk yourself, the less likely you are to try to engage others in conversation. When no one talks in a group you start to wonder why you are even there. Does it matter that I am here? Who really cares? I could be home getting some work done. At least my work shows that I accomplished something. What good is my being here if no one talks to me? Not talking may be interpreted as not caring or respecting the people you are with. They may feel ignored and not worthy of your words. News Flash! To have a friend… you need to BE one! Being around people is not enough. Ask for the opinion of others to make them feel important and give you more ideas. The benefits of direct contact are great if we just make the time. What matters most…the message or the messenger? What they said or who they are? Talking to someone gives them worth and value. I sat next to an Eskimo woman on our way home from Alaska. Before the end of our flight she gave me a recipe for a seal blubber appetizer, we exchanged contact information, and became How can you get a conversation started when you don't know what to say? You could ask "what are you all about?" which beats "what do you do?" They may reply something like, "what do you want to know?" You can then counter with "anything you want to share about yourself i.e. hobbies, pets, a vacation, your children, or your work life. I just want to know you better." A surprised smile generally appears along with delightful spontaneous conversation. Poof! A new friend appears. ? What you really value comes out in your choice of topics. If it's not edifying or uplifting, is it necessary? Let's dwell on what is going right even in a difficult economy. I overheard one man say "I hope my ship comes in before my dock rots." Another unique father having dinner with his three teenage sons said "Due to the economy, I am afraid that I'm going to have to let one of you go." Having fun during a difficult time is a sign of emotional intelligence. That is a skill that I incorporate into my keynotes. Call me and we'll talk …
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